So I just had an awesome call with a client I have been speaking to for years and enjoying. This was not a kink play call but instead it was just a chat. He shared with me how his wife has come around to chastity. Of course this got my blog juices flowing and I had to share some thoughts.

Kink Play and telling your partner

So many of you wish your partner was kinkier and enjoyed what you do. Some of you share this with them but some of you don’t out of fear. fear of what it might say about you or what they may think. My first bit of advice is communicating with your partner about your kink play likes. Do this during sex or foreplay or just when the mood is right. Be prepared to answer questions, be prepared to explain why you enjoy it. Also be prepared to reassure them about your kinky likes…meaning if you like strap on but not gay.

Details about what you enjoy

Part of communicating your kink play likes is the details. Tell them what turns you on, why, and how it feels when they do or say certain things. Show them the toy or the video. Let your partner know that it is not an all or nothing type thing. meaning if they just are not into it you would be unsatisfied. Give details and be excited about sharing it.

Let it be

This bit of advice has worked many many times. Tell them what you like why and such and then let it be. Do not badger them, do not bring it up every time you have sex. Just let it sit with them give it some time. More often than not your partner will explore these things with you at some point. They however never want to feel like you are obsessed with it.

Back up the talk

Once your partner has explored kink play with you back it up. Do not act awkward, embarrassed or ashamed. It is super important that those of you who are married behave as you would normally. Never ever the next day be any different than you normally are…unless you are more loving and attentive. Nothing builds confidence in a partner than a great reaction to an action, this can only help you in the future when dabbling with kink play again.

kink play Mistress Constance