I had a long term submissive of mine tell me the other day that I was so easy to talk to and he could tell me anything. I was flattered but then he asked “when I tell you what I want, isn’t that topping from the bottom?” I thought for a second and said, yes, technically it is topping from the bottom but it is also good communication. Then he asked how to tell the difference and I told him I would explain the difference.
Anyone who tells me in the course of conversation, generally the first minute or so of the session what they like and don’t like is simply communicating. Let’s face it, this is phone sex and my primary goal is to see that you have a rocking good time and the best phone experience possible. If you were my real life submissive, I would be much more focused on me and your wants and desires be damned.
Some examples of communication vs. topping from the bottom. When the session is underway and the submissive gets into some distress and lets me know that is communicating. When he tries to change the direction of the scene or becomes less than submissive, then he is topping from the bottom. When he begs and pleads for release, he’s communicating, but when he bitches and whines then he is topping from the bottom.
Also when some of you more clever submissive men try daring me to have you do this or that it is just another way of topping from the bottom… and never forget my blog is titled Intelligent Fem Dom for a reason. So trying to get what you want from me by baiting me will never work. There is only so much of that can I stand before I move on leaving you with your wishful thinking and often your tiny little dick in your hand.
Your Mistress likes and encourages your communication. Topping from the bottom is bad, and it pisses your Mistress off, but Communicating is a Good thing! I hope this has cleared up any conflicts or questions that you may have had.
Now why don’t you give me a call, and communicate your desires to me and let me take control from there…as it should be.
Thank you Empress for clearing up the difference. I hope I’m not guilty of “topping from the bottom”. I know that I love submitting to your will, and allowing you to direct the action. It is always pleasure to serve you, even when I am denied.
That’s well said, Empress.
I always used to say there is no such thing as “topping from the bottom” during negotiations. I used to believe that. But some of those “i dare you to make me (etc etc)” types are not really even negotiating, are they? Which is, I suppose, OK, but that has nothing to do with dominance and submission.
At least it may give them a SLIGHT taste of what D/s is like. It may prepare them for the real deal, when and if they ever become ready for the “real deal”.
Baby steps. Everyone needs “training wheels” to begin. I needed mine, and these guys need theirs, evidently, but in different ways. Which is OK.
Thanks for the comment kel…. I have found your someone who gets it unlike any other! I just think whats the point in wanting a Dom if they are going to control every single aspect of the play….do it yourself then LOL