I want to be clear as to why I am writing this blog……….it is not for advertisement of services or to make light of any transgender situation this topic is near and dear to my heart and coming off the widely publicized Bruce Jenner interview it is a great time to discuss this issue.
Being Transgender is not a choice
I have heard this so many times and I believe that deep down in my soul, this is not a life style choice one can turn on and off or even have a say in….it is simply who they are period. I have personal experience with this issue with someone very close to me and I can tell you if it was a choice they certainly wouldn’t choose this struggle and battle……to wake up every day not wanting to look at yourself in the mirror because your brain is one way and your gender is another is just excruciatingly hard and certainly not something someone would CHOOSE.
But I am a phone sex Mistress
Yes I talk about such things on phone calls and make a living off the sexual side of this issue, but it does not mean I think it is a joke or that I take it lightly in any way….when you read about me making light of it know that it is exactly what the person calling me wanted. I have also been a sorta counselor to those who just want to talk to someone who understands and wont judge. As with everything I discuss there is no one set way I feel about anyone or anything so don’t think because of what I do for a living that I am insensitive or exploiting the issue in any way.
The Interview
After watching the interview last night and hearing opinions from all over the internet, I have come to the conclusion that no matter what you think of him or the media circus surrounding him he brought something to the masses that only his fame could make happen. He shared a very brave decision he has made and what I felt the most was I hurt for his struggle….for having to live a lie all his life and feeling out of place………..and although he is older bless him for being so brave and doing this now. Do not let his fame or his current tv situation cloud what the message was…..being transgender is not a choice living a lie is hard and there are so many out there struggling and now even more people have been some what educated in this struggle.
Transgender support
If anyone reading this knows someone who is dealing with a gender issue please help support them, ask questions inform yourself but please do not assume it is about sex or be disrespectful this will hurt them to the core.
I support everyone no matter what gender or any other thing they are going through………just know you are not alone and yes even someone like myself supports and understands you. Please if you need help reach out to local places that specialize in this and get the support and help you might need.
Last thought
Back to the interview a second…….no matter what your opinion of him is or his lifestyle or the media circus surrounding the interview and his decision to make it public…………………………………..one amazing thing has come from it that can save countless people from feeling alone or confused or even worse…………..we are talking about it and that is a step in the right direction.
What a wonderfully written post from a compassionate loving woman. Thank you for shedding light on your thoughts and feelings on an important topic. To understand the separation of sexual and gender perception will be something that our society will hopefully learn to embrace and understand. Thank you again for sharing.
thank you W I was happy to share my thoughts and feelings and I am thrilled you enjoyed this post babe
As far as the actual Jenner interview goes, I missed it, so before I can form an opinion on the interview or if I think he had some kind of ulterior motive for doing it, I’ll need to find it and watch it. From a few segments of it that I saw on the news, the things I heard him say were what most late-in-life transitioning people experience. So I felt like he wasn’t fabricating anything just to get attention. I really applaud him for having the courage to follow it through. He has bigger balls than I do.
It’s awesome that you have this empathy for transgendered people, and having personal experience with it gives you a special insight that others who form their opinions just from what they hear from others or from an uninformed media don’t have. For someone to say that this is a choice is totally ridiculous. You hit the nail right on the head there. The “hating to look in the mirror every day” is dead on. It may be easier if the transgendered person can pass well enough to blend in, but for what I’m sure are the majority of M to F transgenders, it’s hard to stomach the realization every day that you will never pass for the gender that you believe you are.
For those people brave enough to transition, they frequently have to deal with families who disown them, as well as not being able to find a job, which makes many transgendered homeless and living on the street. Prostitution may become the only employment opportunity for some to continue to survive. Suicide rates are extremely high for transgenders. Why anyone would choose a life like that if they felt like there was any other way would make no sense. I’m sorta lucky in that my dysphoria is not so intense that I would consider suicide as the only alternative to transitioning. It’s not easy sometimes, but I am mostly able to live with the stress of not being myself when I’m in public. It’s not ideal, but I choose the stress over the alternatives.
And it’s not only the internal conflicts that are the problem. There are many, MANY people who consider themselves as God’s judge and executioner, and they don’t have to be fanatics who follow ISIS. There are countless “Christian” fanatics in this part of the country who would just as soon hurt or kill a transgender person and justify it by cherrypicking phrases from the Bible.
The fact that this interview has generated conversation may be a good thing, and I really hope it helps, but I’m a little afraid that it’s not going to change the minds of the haters, who have been conditioned all their lives to believe that gays and transgenders deserve everything they get. When they hear more people giving sympathetic opinions, it may just make them feel threatened more than ever, and that’s dangerous.
I really enjoyed your post and am looking forward to reading more opinions from others! Awesome post!
jemmie
Jemmie thank you so much for your well thought out reply and I know that you have dealt with this personally and what a big deal it is. I know that the interview and people like you and me and the other who commented can change the haters and the holy rolling judgers of this world but we are a step in the right direction
Standing ovation and major applause for you for writing about this. And in such a well thought-out way. You are so right, that the discussion in and of itself is a good thing. So I’m glad you took a moment to initiate it here.
I too have personal experience with someone close to me who struggled in their younger days with their sexual identity — not transgender, but something else. And God no, it is not a choice. And the people who say it is don’t want to take the time to understand. It is who they are. And the strength it takes to confront it is enormous. Taking the time to offer your love and support means more to someone in that position than anything else.
As for the interview, I didn’t watch it and I won’t. Not because I am opposed to anything Bruce Jenner is doing — I am glad for him he is taking the steps to be who he is and hopefully he will be happy. I just find the way the media has chased and portrayed this story as sickening, and while I support the ability and right of anyone to be who they are, I don’t necessarily want to contribute to the hysteria over it. I wonder if he gave the interview because he truly wanted to, or maybe so people would quit chasing him.
I have never seen what you and the other mistresses do as expressing a particular point of view about any social issue like this. And we’re all well aware (or should be) that when you’re writing about things in a light or even humiliating way, it’s because it is what the person wants. The one thing I’ll say though, is that there are ways some mistresses publicly express those humiliating thoughts that I believe are better left for the private conversations between two consenting adults, because they can cause hurt to others who may read them. I hope that will be part of the discussion too.
Again, more power to you for putting this out there and encouraging others to think about it and discuss it.
bfla thank you for you well written response and for the applause it makes me feel good to know others think and feel like I do on such important subjects. s you know I did open a discussion about your last thing and I appreciate yoru feed back and comments!
Very well written post about a very real issue. I recorded it and did watch the interview and how brave to speak so openly. I’m sure it was not easy and considering everything in the media being said about him, it was time it came from him. There is definitely a difference between “sex” and “gender” and happy it is now being discussed all over and hope it sheds a true light on the transgender community. I’m just sad he had to live so long hiding his true self, but happy that he decided he will not anymore! It is not a choice, who would choose to be ridiculed? Amazing read, thank you.
Thank you Ms Kaylee and I hope now you have watched it and your well thought out comment is much appreciated doll
I could not agree more and I love this blog post! I too have close family members who are trans and I feel that the very best thing about this interview is that we are talking about this. I have said FOREVER that gender is the last frontier. I felt really validated that ABC also had that as a tag ling toward the end of the interview. Great blog post!
Thank you Ms Courtney I am glad that they did it too and although it may not change everyones thoughts about transgender folks it is a start to help others understand better
Let me comment on part of one of the comments …
The comment said: “The one thing I’ll say though, is that there are ways some mistresses publicly express those humiliating thoughts that I believe are better left for the private conversations between two consenting adults, because they can cause hurt to others who may read them. I hope that will be part of the discussion too.”
The very nature of a fetish is that these are things that are not ‘for’ everyone. I know for a fact that some people HATE cum eating and I have a whole blog about that. Some people find crossdressing or sissy play to be inappropriate and I have a blog for THAT. There are some people who find …. fill in the fetish here …. to be “better left to private” but it doesn’t work that way. It’s like programming on TV … you can bitch about it or buy the station … but the only thing you can do as a viewer is find a channel that is showing something you want to watch.
Thank you for your comment Ms Olivia 🙂
Excellent post, Ms. Constance, thank you for bringing the interview to my attention. I’ve also had friends on this road, and one is no longer with us. To this day I’m still not sure of the circumstances surrounding the reason WHY. To think someone might have done that to her for being what she is is crushing, shattering, and makes my skin crawl.
To add to what Ms. Olivia mentioned, I agree that a Mistress’ social media (or ANY media, but NSFW in particular) is rather like programming–it’s not to everyone’s taste. Among other things, I’m a skilled Humiliatrix and sadist–two traits that can be distinctly off-putting–yet quite a few of my blogs, tumblr posts, and tweets reflect that. Why? Because it’s a sample of what a sub can expect in my care. It’s *my* programming; it appeals to some, and not to others.
The freedom to express our opinions, find someone who shares them, and find the right ‘programming’ is truly a gift. It’s not without trial and error, but it makes finding that perfect fit all the sweeter 🙂
Thank you for this wonderful comment Ms Lillu and it makes my skin crawl too that we all just cant accept different people no matter who or what they like
also thank you for your other comments about blogs and social media