This is the first part of Ms. Olivia’s Chastity Interview there will be 2 more parts posted over the next few days. I think what you will find is very in depth answers to all the chastity questions and I am sure it will be appealing to many who enjoy chastity.
1. As a Chastity Mistress, what do you enjoy the most about denying a man or locking them into a chastity device?
Ahhhh, there are so many things I enjoy about orgasm denial and chastity. First it is the control. I do believe the saying: Control the cock, control the man. For a sissy, chastity really reinforces the feminization experience because I control the fundamental experience of being male – having cock and balls. Actually, that control is the main pleasure for this Experienced Chastity Mistress no matter what the gender of the caller. I think a chastity cage is a sex toy … because I get aroused ~laughs~ so it’s a sex toy for me and a frustrating experience for him.
2. What do you expect out of your chastity pets once you have them locked up?
I expect them to BEG! ~laughs~ One of my favorite parts of a chastity phone sex call is when I hear the gasp and moan. I love to hear his reaction when I say NO. Now, some people are on a chastity schedule so he knows he will be released from chastity but he doesn’t know when. He will also have things to do to work towards his release but I control the actual release date. That chastity release date might change, depending on his behavior, my reactions to him and more. Chastity can be a wicked form of tease and denial, punishment or submission training. It is a given that I expect him to respect my skills as a chastity Mistress. This is power exchange at it’s finest. If he tops from the bottom and takes the cage off for an unauthorized reason or doesn’t follow my chastity instructions then I simply assume he’s not ready for chastity. I don’t fuck around with this. I expect him to obey.
3. In your opinion, what is the most important thing that a chastity pet gets out of the relationship?
Wow, that’s a great question! This is why you’re the chastity Mistress, Ms Constance! Mistress and the chastity pet both get things out of the chastity relationship or the power exchange won’t work.
He gets many things out of the relationship. He knows he is pleasing his Mistress. He has a clear way to submit to Mistress. He has very clear boundaries and Mistress control so he also knows that his Mistress is thinking about him — often – just as he is thinking about his Mistress. It’s a wonderful way to be connected between sessions.
One surprising thing about being in chastity is the ability to focus. I have some phone sex callers who want to focus on a project at work or another area of their life so being locked in chastity becomes a way to pour that energy spent on masturbation into another area of life. Chastity is great for this.
A man wearing a chastity cage is experiencing sexual arousal but is not allowed the sexual release of an orgasm. That build up of energy has to go somewhere! I’ve used chastity as a training aid with project focus and a tangible reward for project milestones completed. One phone sex caller completed his wife’s honey do list while in chastity! Another person finished a complicated work project. A crossdresser was finally able to overcome the fear of getting a pedicure! And, a sissy finally learned that she can eat cum! Those are just a few tangible examples of using chastity as a training device and a reward.
4. What qualities do you look for in a chastity pet?
I look for the qualities that make a submissive fun! I am a Mistress in real life. I play in my local fetish scene and go to kinky play parties. I really am a Femdom Chastity Mistress in my private life as well as on phone sex calls.
I enjoy all kinds of kinky fetish fun. Rather than saying the qualities I want in a chastity pet, I’m going to say the qualities I don’t want. There are numerous things that make each individual absolutely wonderful in a chastity relationship and only a couple of things that fry my fanny: passive aggressive behavior and boundary pushers.
I don’t play with passive aggressive people and I’m cautious about playing with brats. Being a brat is a BDsm term and some Dominants like playing with brats. No judgment. I’m just not one of the people who likes a brat. In the BDsm world a brat is someone who says they are submissive but then actively and deliberately resists the domination. It’s stylized fetish play. The brat resists and the Femdom must prove dominance. I like watching brat play and brat discipline at a fetish party but I personally find it tedious and not erotic when I’m in that play. This isn’t a hard line for me, I do play with some brats and have fun when they’re bratty in a scene.
Where I draw an absolute boundary is with passive aggressive people. Passive aggressive behavior is characterized by the inability to openly say a desire so that energy is passively channeled into anger, frustration or all sorts of icky, needy behavior. I expect a submissive to own his or her own self-agency. I expect clear communication especially outside of scenes.
I have very clear personal and professional limits and boundaries. I will tell prospective submissives or phone sex playmates what those boundaries and limits are. I expect my limits honored. If he or she pushes my boundaries and continues to push after I’ve restated the boundaries then we are not a match. I will suggest that the person visit our lovely ladies on the phone sex Live Help desk to find a Mistress that is more compatible with what they need.
5. Do you prefer short lockups or long term?
Once again, great question about the length of time in chastity. I’m always the one that clicks ‘other’ in the polls on our adult social networking site, Enchantrix Empire.
I’m such a fan of the choice “It Depends” because with any fetish scene or erotic roleplay what happens is unique to the individual. For me, it’s not about length of time per se, it’s about experience of being cock locked and controlled by a chastity Mistress. This is one of the many things that I will explore with a potential chastity submissive in our first conversations.
Check back tomorrow for the second part of this interview with the amazing Mistress Olivia
Would expect nothing less than the long and thoughtful answers you got from Olivia. I love blog and EE interaction with her because of her thoughtfulness. I am sure she would be great at it because of her individual flexibility yet clear lines of authority and communication. Great stuff. And yes, all that energy has to go somewhere. That’s why denied writer is prolific writer! Hee hee. 🙂
I agree everything she has put out is well though out and detailed and this chastity interview was no exception glad you enjoyed it as much as I did
Great insightful answers! Empress Constance, I am so glad you put together such thought-provoking questions. What a wonderful way to create dialogue for mistresses and chastity pets/subs to go in-depth with chastity styles, preferences, techniques and ideas. I also feel every chastity submissive teaches me something new with how they personalize their unique viewpoints during the process and express themselves. 🙂
I so agree that every chastity sub teaches us something in fact I never cared for chastity until a special submissive taught me yes taught me the wonderful world of locking up a mans cock and controlling his orgasms and well everything really. Thanks for the comment!