Recently, I had a fun session (well, fun for me, at least) with a fellow who proudly announced his measurements as 3.3125, 2.75, 0.79. Hmmmmmm. He’s not sissy boy so, those aren’t his bust-waist-hips measurements. Actually, they’re the length-circumference-diameter of his penis, IN INCHES! Oh, yea, I forgot: we’re talking ERECT! Poor guy.
For so long, it was women who were judged by their measurements. These days, I assure you, women have turned the tables. When we girls talk measurements, it’s the length and girth of your penis that’s under discussion. What progress!
At least precision is not one of Kevin’s, um, shortcomings. LOL! Obviously, he is fixated with his size. Given his decided under-endowment, and that there is no easy fix, who can blame him? I’m drawn to the subject too. It’s just that I’m more interested in the opposite end of the size spectrum. Actually, all of society is focused on penis size. The topic is always juuuuust below the surface. Look at the Washington Monument. Look at the “finger” length debate among the Republicans! And it may be getting even worse for the little guys among us. There’s a 2013 study suggesting that female preference for large dick may be driving the evolution of larger penises in humans. With the rapid change in society, where are we going with this? Personally, I think males above 21 should be required to carry a “penis proportions card.” Gives new meaning to the phrase, “being carded,” doesn’t it guys? But you “teenys” don’t have to worry, with all the little dicks in Congress, it will never pass.
But let’s get back to my session with midget dick. Unfortunately for him, he got off to quite a bad start when, unknowingly, he just about sealed his fate and forfeited a pleasurable end to our session. Bummer. He mistakenly thought that he would impress me by bragging that for my seven years at LDW, he has been frequently, repeatedly, and chronically masturbating to my blog and photos! His knowledge of my background and outlook on life proved that he WAS quite the fan, so I believed him (especially his confession to relentless jerking off). He even wrote a reply to one of my blog posts that I read to him as he breathed oh-so heavily. I did read his comment as a tease, I’m such a bitch! If you’re interested, look up my June 9, 2015 blog and the various replies. Problem was, this was his first rendezvous with me. That means that without any compensation to LDW or me, this runt had been getting off for years. I instructed him right then and there that IMMEDIATELY post-session, he must reach into his pocket and pull out a virtual bouquet.
Pee-wee’s next mistake: false bravado. He tried to prove himself smarter than me by arguing that given the situation, I would compromise my size queen principles. We argued. And he lost. I won’t go into the details except to advise my pint-sized friends, think twice about trying to convince me to allow you between my legs with arguments about penis extenders or if you were the last man on earth. (If my pocket-sized caller was the last man on earth, I’d consider the chances of alien beings, or more practically, my dildo drawer). Also, avoid arguing with Mistress when you are this side of orgasm and Mistress stands between you and pleasure. In case you didn’t know it, your mind gets scrambled and your powers of persuasion and thought leave you. When I have you by the balls, guys, open your ears. To his credit, at the end of this one-sided debate, he admitted defeat.
This poor boy made another mistake that we frequently experience at LDW, much to the discomfort of our pets: he was not honest with himself about his true desires for our tryst. He left his orgasm outcome in my hands. (Orgasm outcome here would be orgasm “no-come.”) That’s what he said, at the outset. “Oh Mistress, I trust you to decide my orgasmic fate.” I think he was sincere, sincere at the time, at least. Or maybe he wanted to impress me with his gallant gloating, only to be reduced to a begging puddle at call’s end. Very unseemly. Guys: level with yourself before Mistress asks you what you want! If you desire a call climax with you spilling a love puddle in my honor, I might oblige. (Might.) But, my little honeys, you need to be honest with your Mistress. As our time together drew to a close, he begged, pleaded and prayed for gratification. So sad and humbling for him.
But, I was not going to compromise my size queen principles and let “puppy stunted shaft” enjoy a golden orgasm. Besides, he was scheduled for a later encore masturbation performance before three women. How’d that go, Kevin? Oh, by the way, thanks for the bouquet. You only have about a dozen more denials before we’re even.